The Struggle to Apologize in the Line Dancing Community

Feb 93 min read

Apologizing should be easy, but for many in the line-dancing community, it’s one of the hardest things to do. People often believe they are right and refuse to admit when they’re wrong. If you asked them, "Are you perfect?" they’d say "no." Yet, their actions suggest otherwise.

I see this all the time—people giving unsolicited advice, getting frustrated when it’s ignored, and refusing to back down. When we first started 410 Line Dancers, advice poured in from everywhere. I tried to be respectful in rejecting it, but not everyone took it well.

Once, I told someone, "If 410 Line Dancers is going to fail, it has to fail MY way." I thought I was being logical, but they didn’t see it that way. Instead of respecting my decision, they waited for me to fail so they could say, "I told you so." Over ten years later, they’re still waiting.

Why Don’t People Apologize (not sorry)?

I don’t spend much time on Facebook following the latest drama in the soul line-dancing community, but I hear about conflicts all the time. Mistakes happen—that’s normal. What stands out, though, is how rarely people apologize.

I often see people demanding apologies, but when someone gives one, it’s rarely accepted. Even when someone is clearly in the wrong, they struggle to admit it. And even if they do, true forgiveness is rare.

At 410 Line Dancers, I’ve had to put my feelings aside to do what’s best for the group. Sometimes that means reconnecting with people I once cut off. I’ve given people more chances than I probably should have, but my priority is always what benefits 410. Still, when I know someone isn’t good for us, I have no problem cutting them off for good.

Why is apologizing so hard? Here are some common reasons:

Ego and Self-Perception – Admitting a mistake can feel like admitting failure.
Fear of Vulnerability – Apologizing means putting yourself in a position to be criticized or rejected.
Pride and Stubbornness – Some people see apologizing as a sign of weakness.
Lack of Empathy – If someone doesn’t understand how their actions affect others, they won’t feel the need to apologize.

How Society Affects Apologies

Gender Expectations – Many men are taught that apologizing makes them look weak, while women are often expected to apologize even when they’ve done nothing wrong.
Cultural Differences – Some cultures see apologizing as essential, while others view it as losing face.

What Happens When People Don’t Apologize?

When people refuse to say sorry, it causes problems:

Strained Relationships – Refusing to apologize damages trust and builds resentment.
Mental Health Issues – Holding onto guilt or refusing to resolve conflicts can cause stress and anxiety.
Toxic Environments – A lack of accountability can hurt teamwork and leadership in the community.

How to Get Better at Apologizing

Be Self-Aware – Recognize when you’re wrong and why it’s hard for you to apologize.
Practice Empathy – Think about how your actions affect others.
Embrace Vulnerability – Apologizing shows strength, not weakness.
Get Professional Help if Needed – Therapy or coaching can help if apologizing feels impossible.

Final Thoughts

The inability to apologize isn’t just a personal issue—it affects relationships, communities, and even businesses. By practicing self-awareness, empathy, and honesty, we can create a more positive and supportive line-dancing community. Owning up to mistakes doesn’t make us weak; it makes us stronger together.